The Mental Game

It's a little over a week from the race and mentally I'm feeling like shit. I'm tired and sore from a hard last week of training and am trying not to let my head get the better of me. I remember feeling this way before Oliver and I tried to train through it...that didn't work. All I got was MORE tired. I want to go into Grand Coulee well rested, so I am starting my taper tomorrow (a few days earlier than scheduled). I feel like I'm letting myself down by not following my "plan".

I have done all the hard work and it will pay off come race day. My biggest challenge right now is to keep my spirits high and not let my fears and insecurities get the better of me. I'm not sure what it is that makes me think that I'm not good enough to compete, or don't deserve to be there...those are probably normal feelings, but ones I know in my heart to be unfounded. I have worked really hard for this race and feel the strongest I've ever felt (in comparison to Oliver). I'm ready for the race.

Part of the allure of doing these races is working on my mental toughness. Physically, I know I can do the distance; I can swim 2 kilometers with no problem, I can ride well over 90 kilometers and just yesterday I ran 18kms very comfortably...so where's the issue? The issue I face is one of self doubt and fear of not succeeding. What constitutes "not succeeding" I'm really not sure of...maybe not achieving the goals (specific times) I've set for myself? On one hand, the "rational" hand, the times are set to gauge my effort...if the times are too slow or too fast it's unrealistic. So, there has to be a happy medium somewhere; Andrew once said to "set some goals and then work your ass off to achieve them"...fair enough. Times aside, another goal will be to mitigate the unnecessary negative mental thought processes that will take way from my more important goals...LIKE FINISHING THE DAMN RACE WITH A SMILE ON MY FACE! :) (...which is going to happen regardless...)

As I sit here to finish this entry, I've just gotten off the phone with Lisa (...thank you, again, for listening...), and know that (the mental training) is going to be the bigger challenge I will face in the next year. Where in the world do you get a schedule for that, I wonder?